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Sex and the single Muslim

Written by a Muslim woman who prefers not to disclose his name.

Taken http://www.islamweb.net/esp/print.php?id=152820&lang=S

Let's talk about something that nobody else wants to talk. Unmarried women and sex ...

We must be very clear on this matter: we all need love, each and every one of us, all we need to feel loved and have that special closeness. It is a natural part of human beings is how we were created and there is nothing wrong with that, there is nothing to be ashamed if you have these feelings. What is not natural is to be a celibate for life (for no good reason) ... that's just wrong.

But perhaps temporary celibacy is not a bad thing, that is, when you're a single woman ... there is no other option. Go into the reasons for this later, because there is much more than what someone might think. Then, when you are a Muslim, single, how you handle it? This can be very lonely, very tedious. What to do? How do you cope?

is not easy ... and there is no simple solution, but one ... and marriage.

Love is sexy, but what sex is love?

The whole idea of \u200b\u200bfalling in love with someone is really very attractive ... it's incredibly attractive. May Allah help us all, we are so bombarded with this idea at every turn! Is on TV, even in animated films for children. I mean, if those ridiculous cars can fall in love, why I can not find the love of my life? At least I am a human being!

Love is idealized, especially in the West. Is sold and promoted in every way imaginable ... and I have to give a lecture about it, you know it's true. But what is really sad, is that advertising (among other things) has confused sex with love, and by no means the same thing. Everyone can have sex, but not everybody can have love. In Islam there is great reward linked to marriage, and sexual needs of a person by the sanctity and unity of marriage is doubly rewarded: physical and spiritual.

True love is not born, at least for the most part, at first sight. The first views are just the day before. What happens at first sight is desire and desire alone. It is the physical attraction that attracts the interest at first, not love.

vs True love. desire

Someone once sent me a poem to work, and this is what he said: "All love that has no friendship as its base is like a mansion built on sand" quoted by Ella Wheeler Wicox. I sat at my computer thinking, "That is very true. Nothing else can be so clear. "

Love is built over time through mutual understanding and care ... does not happen in a few interactions. The desire, on the other hand, can start and end in an instant. Love is lasting, while the desire is temporary. Love is patient, tools that desire is impatient and impulsive. Love makes you feel happy and inspired, while the desire only offers shame repentance.

One thing is certain: love and desire never to be confused.

The quote I'll use below provides much clarity on the subject of love and desire:

"You know what love is?
is all the kindness and generosity.

Discord prevails when You confuse the desire to love,
As the distance between them is infinite. " (Rumi)

This line catches my attention in particular: "... the distance between them is infinite" ... how true it is.

The single Muslim must be constantly alert to avoid confusing the two emotions, and sometimes this can be difficult if you are alone.

One solution to loneliness

Marriage is a very good alternative. Muslim women should avoid living single for a long time. In Islam, being married or is half of religion. The Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of God be upon him) said: "Marriage is my way (ie, my Sunna), and a person who despises my way does not belong to mine" (Compiled by Bukhari).

therefore, to live single for a long period of time is Haram, if not, something that goes against the Sunnah of the Prophet (BYP).

However, we know that women can do it. We earn our own money we can raise their children and homemakers. There is nothing we can not do for ourselves ... well, almost nothing. We can not be parents. No woman can replace a father. We can try if we have to, but not the same.

Like everyone else, we need the family union. Our children need a united family, and a close family includes a mother and a father, a husband and wife.

For men and women living alone and unmarried, only invites the sin. We can be strong for some time, but eventually Satan will start to whisper, and the longer we stay alone, the stronger their whispers.

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks if you only hear the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. " "By Pearl S. Buck.

do not know much about Pearl Buck, but this is right.

True Love Waits

So what to do about marriage? How to find a partner? How can we achieve true love through a marriage contract?

If you are a single Muslim and want to marry for the sake of Allah (and I know it can be hard to do), do not start looking on-line. Visit your community, talk to your friends. Make a list of things that interest you and then you'll know about what to discuss. Be your own research, look for it among friends of the friends of your friends. I know this may sound obsessive, but, after all, this is someone with whom you are considering spending the rest of your life.

And once you decide to meet someone, talk about things in your list and make sure you have some things in common, now and for the future. Common goals always enhance a relationship.

The Islamic contract of marriage and the ceremony itself may seem very dry compared to the lavish ceremony that we see on television. But what matters is the intention and sincerity.

Here's another quote that I love, by Thomas Carlyle: "The merit of originality is not novelty, is sincerity."

This aspect is more important than the world when you look for life partner.

Does love come with a marriage contract? To be honest, the answer is no, not always. But on average, studies show that these types of marriages are lasting. I know you've heard this a million times, but develop a bond of friendship with your husband is what will endure. The attraction comes and goes with time, but a strong friendship and love only are strengthened.

is my hope that this article helps those who are still single and think a little beyond what we already know about the difference between desire and love.

True love and sexual happiness waiting for you by sincere union of marriage, and that's something that really is worth waiting for. And safeguard your dignity and self is essential for your mental well-being and that of your children, if one day you incha Al-Lah.

Always keep this in your mind as you spend your life as a single woman: you are Muslim and accept something less than the sincerity of a marriage Islam is simply far below you.

And then seriously start looking for a good Muslim to marry my friend, because Satan never sleeps.

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